create_serenity: (Mountains)
[personal profile] create_serenity
Title: What Can I Do?
Rating: R/18
Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters.
Warnings: H/D slash, very smutty
Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who has left a comment and to everyone who is reading along in the background. Hope you're all still enjoying it!

Chapter 1 here

Chapter 5: Dependence

They did try everyday for the next week and a new routine developed. Potter would arrive at his bedroom in the morning, sit on Draco’s legs and wank him steadily until Draco came then cast enough cleaning charms that Draco felt refreshed before he dressed him and then left the rest to Kreacher. It seemed to work. Draco hadn’t had anymore of the dreams – or at least none that he remembered come morning.

It had all been going so well. Why did his body have to choose tonight to ruin it all? It wasn’t even like Potter had given him a bath today. That had been the day before and it hadn’t affected him in the slightest. Why did his body have to rebel tonight?

Those might have been the thoughts in his head when he woke up screaming an obscenity at his bedroom ceiling, but there were no thoughts in his head other than kicking off the covers and grinding his teeth and desperately needing Potter’s hand on his cock right now because he thought he was going to go a little bit insane without it.

That green-eyed idiot had been in his dream again and Draco had been burying his hands in the man’s luscious black hair whilst his cock had been firmly down the man’s throat and he’d been so close he was amazed to wake up and find he hadn’t actually come yet. He needed to so badly that he almost cried with relief when Potter came flying into the room, lit the lamps and practically jumped on top of him, ripping his pants down so fast that Draco actually let out a cry of pain, which turned into a moan of relief when Potter’s hand wrapped around him a second later.

“Fuck Potter.” It annoyed him immeasurably that Potter had gone back to his usual technique when he did this in the mornings, as if he thought that not giving Draco exactly what he wanted somehow made it more tolerable. Draco didn’t know who or what it was more tolerable for, but he completely refused degrade himself by begging. It was bad enough Potter was having to do this at all.

Unfortunately much like last time this had happened the willpower deserted him at times like these. “Harder Potter. Come on. Faster. Yes, like that! Fuck!” His back arched as Potter responded to his entreaties, shifting on his legs and speeding up his hand, setting off those spikes of pleasure that drove straight into his mind and set off explosions behind his eyelids. He writhed against the mattress and threw his head back. “Fuck Potter. Harder. Make me come.”

“Fuck Malfoy!” The hand stopped and Draco let out a growl of frustration, his eyes flying open, fully prepared to curse Potter to Azkaban and back until he saw the way the other man was hanging over him, slick with sweat and panting as breathlessly as he was. “What the fuck are you doing Malfoy? Have you any idea how hot you look right now?”

Frankly the only sensible reaction to that was to gawp at Potter like an idiot until his words sank in and he managed to drag his eyes down to Potter’s crotch. He was only wearing boxers and the tent in them was not something the other man was ever going to be able to hide. Draco raised an eyebrow. His size was impressive, he’d give him that.

“Do something about it then,” he gasped, he’d been going for a drawl, but it hadn’t quite worked out, “I don’t care Potter, just do something.”

There was a split second hesitation and then Potter let out a quiet “fuck,” and pulled himself free of his boxers. He had quite a nice cock, Draco thought, before Potter’s left hand closed around his own and his right hand was back on Draco’s and there were no more thoughts, just Draco watching in fascination as Potter wanked them both at the same time, until the sensations became too much and he collapsed back on the bed with his eyes closed.

“Oh fuck yes Potter,” he muttered, “Fuck yes.” He came with a strangled cry just as hard and as long as he had done last time, spiralling away into white hot oblivion and only returning when he heard Potter’s groan and managed to force his eyes open just in time to see the ropes of pearly white come splashing across their stomachs. He really couldn’t help it if the sight made his own cock twitch in Potter’s hand.

“Fuck Malfoy.” Bloody hell. Potter was actually collapsing next to him, which meant they were lying in bed together and there was nothing Draco could do about it. Well actually there was. He kicked out at him with a leg, ignoring his groan in favour of doing it again.

“Bloody hell, Malfoy I can’t move.”

“Not my problem. Get out of my bed.”

“Technically it’s my bed you know.”

“You do realise you just wanked over me right? I am never going to let you forget that.”

“Shut up, Malfoy, I’ve had my hand on your cock and made you come more times than I can count. You have no right to say anything at this point.”

“That was necessity,” Draco pointed out smugly, “Not choice. You chose to wank over me. I win.”

“You win?” Potter actually snorted at him disdainfully, which Draco thought didn’t really suit him, “It’s not a competition. And I defy anyone not to need a wank after listening to you beg for it.”

“I did not beg for it,” Draco said sniffily, knowing full well that he had, but vaguely hoping Potter didn’t actually remember.

“You so did and you woke me up again in the night with your incessant demands for orgasms. Next time I’ll just leave you to it shall I?”

Merlin. That didn’t bear thinking about. Draco pursed his lips and tried to pretend nothing was happening as Potter finally decided to sit up and cast the necessary cleaning charms to get rid of the sticky fluids.

“Go back to sleep Draco.” He sounded tired Draco realised and feeling suddenly guilty for some inexplicable reason he rolled over so he was facing away from Potter and didn’t bother to say anything even when he felt him pulling the covers back over his naked body.


By the next morning Draco had decided that the best way to deal with the fact that Potter had basically wanked them both off at the same time was to pretend that it hadn’t actually happened. Maybe if he did then the image of Potter’s cock wouldn’t be burned into the back of his eyeballs and he wouldn’t keep thinking about how attractive that part of Potter actually was. It was one thing to decide Potter had beautiful eyes – they were after all an unusually startling shade of green, but it was quite another to find such an intimate part of his body attractive.

It seemed that Potter was dealing with it the same way as well, though he did raise an eyebrow when he entered the room and found Draco without his usual morning erection. Draco was extremely glad he’d woken up early enough to replace the image of Potter with an image of Milicent and get himself back under control in time.

He was only thinking about Potter because Potter was the only person he’d seen in over five weeks either naked or dressed. What he needed was to get out of the house.

He’d only ventured as far as the back garden previously, once Potter had begun insisting that he needed some fresh air and telling him he looked ill. It was the idea that his appearance was being affected that had driven him out into the sunshine in the end, though he suspected that had been Potter’s plan all along when he thought about it.

Today though he actually went out of the front door after Potter had left for work and took a brisk walk around some of the nearby streets, trying to look as natural as he could when his arms were dangling limply by his sides. Luckily it seemed that wherever Grimmauld Place – the road name on the sign at the end of Harry’s street, was the neighbourhood was pretty deserted during the day. He came across a few people, mostly old ladies, and no one seemed to be looking at his arms as if there was anything odd about them.

He stayed out an hour, realising in the same way that he’d realised he needed company, that he’d missed being outside and that the four walls of the house had been affecting him more than he’d cared to admit. He resolved to go out more often and when he arrived back threw himself into his research with renewed vigour.

Granger had sent some books that she’d thought might help and though he wasn’t exactly hopeful anymore it at least gave him a goal, something to aim for in what would otherwise be rather aimless reading.

Potter arrived back at the usual time and that night there were no dreams to wake either of them up.


Potter stopped giving him a hand job everyday. It seemed that since he’d obviously decided that one everyday hadn’t stopped the dreams there was absolutely no point making the effort. Besides Draco was doing his best to try and get his body back under his control and he was managing it more and more often. By the end of the second week he’d managed to go four days without Potter touching his cock, which was something he was really quite proud of.

It was a shame Potter had managed to ruin all that by choosing tonight to give him a bath. He’d been doing so well. He’d even managed to keep himself under control all throughout the bath itself. It was only now, afterwards, when he was lying in bed and images of Potter on top of him rose unbidden to the front of his mind and the memory of how good Potter’s hands felt when they massaged his scalp sent tingles down his spine that the problem came back in full force.

He wriggled uncomfortably for a while and then, as the images turned into Potter with one hand on his own cock and one on Draco’s he rolled over and let the friction from the mattress send trickles of pleasure coursing through his groin.

It was only after a few minutes of this that he came to his senses and realised that not only was he teasing himself to images of Potter of all people, But that there was absolutely nothing he could do to follow up n the teasing.

“Shit.” He rolled over and cursed at the ceiling, realising that his cock was throbbing and leaking pre-come into his pants and that there was absolutely no way images of Millicent were going to do it this time.

“Fuck.” The solution was obvious. Lie here and really really try very hard to get rid of his erection or give in and go find Potter. He chose the latter, though why having Potter know he was weak and pathetic and couldn’t live without wanking was any better than the former option really didn’t bear thinking about. He also didn’t understand why he even cared if Potter thought he was weak and pathetic or why it had suddenly occurred to him that this was the real reason he hadn’t been making Potter touch him as often. He didn’t like the way that Potter had looked at him when he’d admitted he wanked everyday, or when he woke up in the middle of the night unable to control his urges. It made him feel dirty and disgusting and completely degraded.

Also guilty. He was forcing Potter to do something that Potter probably didn’t want to do at all. Even if he had wanked over him, Draco knew that the reason was exactly what Potter had said it was. It would be difficult for any gay man not to wank over someone begging them the way he had done to Potter that night. All Potter had done was respond naturally to him behaving like a complete slut. It was time to stop.

That really didn’t explain why he was outside Potter’s bedroom now, silently thanking Kreacher for the fact that he’d fitted one of those foot devices to this door as well and that he was able to push it open and step inside without any problems.

He stopped by Potter’s bed and looked down at him. The man was already asleep and he looked so peaceful, so unlike the way Potter looked when he was awake, when he burned with intensity and life, that Draco very nearly turned and walked away. He felt guilty enough about this already, and even though guilt apparently wasn’t enough to drive away his erection it should really have been enough for him to just walk away right now.

“Draco! What are you doing?”

Of course the man was the fucking Chosen One and that meant he could feel someone watching him whilst he slept. Obviously. That was the only explanation as to why he’d woken up right now, just as Draco had decided he was going to leave.

They both blinked at each other stupidly as Potter reached for his wand and lit the lamps in the room, then Draco registered the fact that Potter had actually called him Draco, just as Potter glanced down at his crotch and noticed the tent there.

“For fuck’s sake, Malfoy.”

“Look I’m sorry all right. I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just seeing if you were awake. I’ll just go.” Merlin, he was babbling and his cheeks were almost certainly bright red and all he could do was turn and walk away right now because he was so damn embarrassed and what the hell had he been thinking?

“No wait!”

The arm that caught him around the waist and dragged him backwards pulled him completely off balance because he didn’t have his arms to steady himself and he found himself sitting on the edge of the bed with Potter shifting around behind him. Merlin, at what point whilst he was stumbling backwards had Potter actually managed to get his pants down without him noticing?

Then there was a hand around his cock and Draco groaned and let his eyes flutter shut as Potter started teasing. Actually teasing. Again. And Merlin, wasn’t he just brilliant at it?

“Potter.” Shit his voice sounded guttural and far too husky for his own liking. “Don’t tease Potter.” He hissed through his teeth as a hand skated down his chest and tweaked at a nipple. Merlin, how long had it been since someone had touched his nipples? He spent half his life with them far too sore from doing this to himself or from having someone bite them, but they hadn’t even been touched for weeks and Draco vowed silently that even when this was over he was going to leave them alone more often because it felt even better when they weren’t sore to start with.

Potter tweaked again and the noise Draco made he hadn’t even known he was capable of. He didn’t even know how to describe it, but he made it again as Potter moved across to the other nipple and rubbed a thumb over the end of his cock causing it to twitch under his hand.

“Merlin, Potter,” he breathed, jerking his hips forwards and nearly falling off the bed in the process. There was a husky laugh behind him which Draco would have sworn couldn’t possibly have come from Potter’s throat if he hadn’t been the only person in the room, and then an arm wound around his waist and pulled him securely back onto the bed where his arse ended up resting snugly against a very obvious erection.

There was a gasp and Potter moved back slightly. He obviously hadn’t intended to do that and Draco didn’t know whether he was relieved or disappointed to find that Potter hadn’t been trying to hump his arse. At this point he hadn’t had sex in long enough that he couldn’t bring himself to care that it was Potter, at least not whilst Potter’s hand was expertly working over his cock the way it was.

“Harder, Potter.” He’d had enough of teasing and he was relieved when it seemed Potter had too because the man immediately increased his ministrations so they were just how Draco liked them. He certainly was a quick learner, Draco at least had to give him credit for that. “Fuck.”

“Malfoy, you’re doing it again.”

“What? Fuck, Potter, don’t stop!” He had no clue what Potter was talking about. He didn’t even care what Potter was talking about. He just needed that hand back on his cock as soon as possible.

There was some shifting around behind him and then Potter’s forehead seemed to be resting on his shoulder. He would have asked why, but Potter’s hand was back and he found that he really didn’t care what Potter did with the rest of his body so long as that hand stayed where it was.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” He wasn’t sure if the words were coming from him, or whether actually they were Potter, or whether by this point they were both swearing. All he knew was that he was racing towards his climax and that when it hit it ripped a cry from his throat that was so loud he could swear he tasted blood.

“Fuck!” His cock pulsed and throbbed in Potter’s hand and his entire body convulsed over and over until he felt completely and utterly spent. Then there was a muffled noise from his shoulder and something hit his back and he realised Potter was coming too and that sent another shudder of pleasure through his body when he felt there couldn’t possibly be anymore.

“Shit.” That was Potter. He’d managed not to collapse this time it seemed, which Draco was glad for because it meant that when he started to slide forwards and off the bed, Potter’s arm was wrapped around him tightly enough that he was able to pull him back before he spelled both of them clean.

“Think you might actually sleep now?” Potter’s voice still sounded husky Draco realised. He let out a breath and nodded slowly, climbing to his feet and immediately heading for the door. It was only he reached the door to his room that he realised Potter was following him. He turned, frowned and was about to ask why when he realised that not only did Potter have his abandoned pyjama bottoms in his hand, but also that he wouldn’t actually be able to get into bed without Potter’s help.

“Merlin, I hate this shit,” he muttered and went to lie on the bed. He was thankful when Potter just chose to abandon the pyjamas on the floor and pulled the covers up around him instead. Draco felt oddly vulnerable in that moment and he forced himself to turn his back to Potter, even though the horrible and irrational urge to just collapse sobbing into his arms seemed to have taken over every facet of his mind.

He could never give in to something like that so he kept his back firmly turned as Potter sighed and padded out, shutting the door behind him. It was only then that Draco allowed himself to cry until he fell into an exhausted sleep.

Date: 2015-01-11 06:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Awwww, Poor Draco! You know, I would cry too.
Everything is so confusing. I am sure Draco hates being so helpless. And, Harry, hmmm, Harry, well, I am sure he is getting conflicting feelings.
Great chapters, great read, enjoyed muchly! :)

Date: 2015-01-11 10:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I feel sorry for Draco too, he's not used to being helpless!

Glad you're enjoying :D
Edited Date: 2015-01-11 10:03 pm (UTC)

Date: 2015-01-11 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I really need to log in next time I only noticed that I was still anonymous when I pressend "Post comment"

I loved this chapter, I felt for Draco and hope that the boys will sort this out. I hope that Harry can reassure Draco that he is not disgusting

Date: 2015-01-11 09:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I thought the anon might be you again :)

They'll get there eventually, but you know what they're like and Harry is truly terrible for putting his foot in it sometimes!


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